Best Laid Plans
by Steahl
Summary: Wedding!! Wedding!!!!! Wedding!!! Finally!!!!!!!
1. Best Laid Plans Ch1: Pink

Disclaimer: Again, Marvel owns the characters. They consented to be in this story because I offered them all stock options and pizza.

This takes place after "Blue Eyes and Shadows"

Best Laid Plans

Ch. 1: Pink

Jubilee sighed "I don't care what the rest of the team says, this is hard work!"

"I know what'cha mean shugah! Mah eyes is startin to water and we ain't even decided on dress colors yet!"

"Why aren't the guys helping with this? I mean, Remy I know has excellent taste. Couldn't he help us out?"

"Shugah, this is a weddin! Menfolk would ruin it! If it was up ta them we'd both be married in Vegas or somethin. Then we'd ride off into da sunset on their Harleys! Just imagine that Jubilee, avoidin that makes this all worthwhile!"

Jubilee shudders "Your right. So we were looking at the Rose silk right?"

"Actually, let's start on the guest list alright? 'm startin to go color blind."

"But the rose is gentle on the eyes Rogue!"

"I ain't gettin married in pink!"

"It's not pink, it's rose!"

"Jube...Ill...Lee...it's...still...pink!"

"Your hopeless! At least look at it!" Jubilee shoves a magazine at Rogue.

"Ah said NO!" The magazine goes flying across the room, hitting Gambit as he enters the room.

"What a welcome eh chere? What's the matter? You don want ta get married after all?" Gambit asks with a wicked twinkle in his eye.

"You know ah do shugah, it's just dat this is all gettin on my last nerve, and we ain't even begun da real work!"

"Need help with a dress chere? Gambit help!" He begins to flip through the magazine "Here we go! Dis look lovely on de both of you neh? Sunset Rose silk..."

"IT"S PINK" A shower of books and magazines bombard Gambit.

"That's it chere! You get dat stress out! Don't worry about it none, we jus go to Vegas neh?"

"Aaarrrggghhhh! Come on Jubilee, we're leaving for a while!"

"Where are we going?"

"OUT! Preferably to a place with alcohol!" Rogue grabs Jubilee and flies out the window.

Wolverine enters the room, skirting Gambit and his pile of wedding paraphernalia. "What you do this time Cajun?"

"Gambit do nothin frere! Gambit jus tryin to help. See? I found this lovely dress..." Shoves the magazine under Wolverine's nose.

"No wonder they pelted you and left Cajun. That dress is pink."


	2. Best Laid Plans Ch 2: Bar Return

Disclaimer: Yeah, I stupidly promised Marvel my soul for the use of their characters. Oh well, wasn't using it anyway...

In case the title didn't give it away, this comes after Best Laid Plans ch. 1: Pink. Rogue and Jubilee are at Harry's Hideaway.

Best Laid Plans

Ch. 2: Bar return

Rogue looked across the table at Jubilee "Ya'll right shugah?"

"Yesh"

"If'n yah was you would'n be speaken to me like that."

"I'm okay, I am"

"No more drinkin, yah here me?"

"Yes mom"

"Gal...you gonna have such a head on yah tomorrow, then we aint never gonna finish plannin our weddin!"

"'Bout that Rogue...you think we doing the right thing?"

"Course ah do! Remy may be a swamp rat but I love him! Why? Somethin wrong with Logan?"

"Always, but I love him anyway! But will he be happy with me?"

"He better!"

"Okay"...thud

"Jubilee? Come on gal, you aint had that many! Sigh" Rogue pays Harry, owner of Harry's Hideaway, and sling the now unconscious Jubilee over her shoulder. "I'll get us home gal, don worry. Good thing neither one of us drove huh?" She flies off into the night.

******************************************************************

"I be worried frere Wolverine, de be gone long time neh?"

"Yeah"

"You tink de be coming back?"

"Relax cajun, they won't ditch us. What are you worried about anyway? You've gone through all this before"

"Dis be diffrent, I be in love dis time."

"Good, there they are, walking up the drive."

"Rogue chere? What's wrong?"

"NOT SO DAMN LOUD SWAMP RAT! MAH HEAD HURTS!"

Wolverine stalks towards Rogue, "Here let me take her".

"Shore thing shugah, she got a little drunk..."

"And why did you walk home?"

"I flew 'bout half way, but then ah couldn't stay straight..."

"Thank you for getting her home Rogue. I'll get her to bed" Wolverine walks off, tenderly cradling his burden.

"Well chere, Gambit sorry about the pink thing, and he was gonna offer wine as a peace offerin, but you beat him to de "punch" neh?"

"Remy, I'm gonna kill you in de mornin..."

"Dis is de mornin chere."

"Next mornin. I'm goin to bed!"

"I be right der chere"

"Yeah Remy"

"After I cancel dat _pink_ champagne..."

"I changed mah mind, ah'll kill yah now.."

"Den who you marry eh?"

"I don't know...Bobby Drake!" Rogue stomps off into the house.

"Chere! Chere! You don mean dat neh? Chere? Rogue?" Gambit frantically follows her.


	3. Best Laid Plans Ch 3: The List

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Marvel! It's just their unfortunate fate to be stuck in my story! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

This story comes after Ch. 2 of course, I highly recommend you read the previous chapters first or else you won't get the joke.

Best Laid Plans

Ch. 3: The List

Rogue awoke with a hell of a headache "What damn fool drew the damn curtain at this hour?" she mumbled to herself.

"Dis fool be tinkin dat sunset should be seen non?"

"Remy....SUNSET?!"

"Oui"

"Ya'll be tellin me that ah done slept through a whole day?"

"Oui"

"Oh mah gawd! Ah got so much tah do!" Rogue flies out of bed, heading for the door.

"Chere?"

"Yes?"

"Gambit be tinkin dat you ought ta be dressed non?" 

Rogue looks down at the ragged shirt and boxers that she borrowed from Remy and lands in front of the dresser. Gambit leans against the wall and watches, when she finishes dressing, he wordlessly hands her two aspirin. With an breathtaking smile, Rogue leans in to kiss Remy....and meets an impish Bobby Drake. "Rogue? What are you doing? I thought you _loooved_ me!" He dramatically holds his hand over his heart and sighs.

"Bobby? What is you talkin about?"

Gambit joins the act "Chere *sniff* you didn't! How could you? He's an ice cube!"

"An ice cube? On guard you thief! I will fight for the woman I love!" An icy sword appears in Bobby's hand, and a matador's cape flows icily from his arm.

"Don worry Rogue my love! Dis infidel won come between us!" Gambit grabs a hairbrush and a pillow. Unable to contain themselves, the two men collapse in a fit of laughter. Rogue leaves the room mumbling.

"What was she saying Gambit?"

"Sounded like "ah don know which worse..." what you tink?"

"Probably some thing along the lines of "Men!" Maybe we shouldn't tease her, I mean this wedding has her stressed..."

"Frere, we make her laugh neh?"

"True, we did...On Guard!"

******************************************************************

Rogue sighed "Men!"

"What about them?" asked Jubilee from across the table.

"Sometimes..." 

"I know what you mean, did I tell you that Bobby tried to help my headache by freezing my hat to my head?"

"Lords! We shouldn't invite him to the weddin then huh?"

"Your right! We shouldn't! Let's finish that list now."

"Okay, so far we got Scott, Jean, Betsy, Warren, Kitty, Peter...."

******************************************************************

Wolverine walked into the kitchen around nine o'clock. Rogue and Jubilee were sitting at the table with a long list in front of them. He sat down next to Jubilee and started to read.

"Hmmm, Elf as the pastor huh? Good choice....you realize that you haven't invited your groom Rogue? Or Bobby....."


	4. Best Laid Plans Ch 4: Diffrent Tastes

Chapter 4: Different tastes  
  
Jubilee sat at the kitchen table, sighing. "Sometimes I don't think it's worth it! What are we supposed to feed so many people?"  
  
"I dunno shugah, the way ah see it is this…if we sets a buffet out, they're bound tah eat right?"  
  
The room temperature drops, and Booby drake sticks his head in "Pizza! Everyone eats Pizza!"  
  
Rogue throws the salt shaker at Bobby "You again? Aincha had enough of teasin us?"  
  
"I ain't teasing you this time! I really mean order pizza. Everyone likes pizza, and beer, gotta have beer."  
  
Jubilee glares at Bobby "We might as well host our wedding at Harry's if we do that. This is a wedding Bobby! A wedding doesn't serve pizza and beer!"  
  
"Your just mad cause you didn't think of it!" Bobby screams over as his shoulder as he leaves.  
  
"Yah know Jubilee, Bobby has a point. Ah know that alla Remy's family gonna want Creole and Gumbo, and all the Nawlins food! We can't put that much out!"  
  
"I know Rogue, but pizza and beer? We not hosting Monday night football…"  
  
  
  
Bobby walks into the game room, where Remy and Logan have hidden themselves "Good news gentlemen! Yours truly has done something wonderful!!"  
  
"What now Ice cube? You teased the girls again?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Perhaps, mon frere, our young Bobby has actually gotten himself a date?"  
  
"That hurts Remy. No, I just saved your sensitive palates!"  
  
"You cooked?????? Augh!!!!" Logan and Remy run for the door.  
  
  
  
"Remy? Whatcha doin in the kitchen shugah?"  
  
"Remy is simply tryin to destroy whatever foul creation Bobby has cooked up! Remy dinks he should have payed more attention…if it was Bobby's turn to cook…"  
  
"No shugah, it's Beast turn, and it's wonderful!"  
  
"Truly? Then what was frere Bobby talking about?"  
  
"Probably the wedding food" Jubilee pipes up  
  
Gambit holds his hand at his mouth "Mon Diue! You didn't let him….*gasp*……cook for da wedding did you mon chere?"  
  
"No, of course not! We decided to use his idea though. Pizza and beer it is."  
  
Logan sticks his head in "Pizza and Beer? At a wedding?" He looks back at Bobby "You done good Drake"  
  
Remy's lips tremble "Pizza…..beer….non!" Remy artfully collapses and sobs in his hands. "Non, non, non…"  
  
Rogue sits next to him on the floor "Hush shugah! Yah think that's the only food there gonna be? We need yah to cook up your best for those of us with more…refined… tastes."  
  
"You mean it chere? Remy can cook some decent food? And serve wine?"  
  
"Ah don't know about serve, but cook…be our guest."  
  
Gambit beams and stands up "And another reason I love you chere!" 


	5. Best Laid Plans Ch 5: The Girls

Disclaimer: Marvel owns the X-men etc…using their characters is costing me a box of Cuban cigars and a lot of all night poker binges.

Best Laid Plans Chapter 5 

**The Girls**

          Things were coming together…the dresses were picked out…the flowers ordered…the cake picked…the food was "handled" by Dominoe's Pizza and Remy…there were just a few little things left…like bridesmaids.

          "Who are you going to pick Rogue?"

          "Ah have a few ideas shugah…just relax, and ah'll tell yah. Promise not tah to get spooked or nothing?"

          "Of course I won't, I mean, you didn't freak when I wanted Penance as one of my bridesmaids now did you?"

          "Well…"

          "Oh come on, it's not that hard!"

          "Ah want Ororo and Kitty…"

          "That's easy, we'll ask them."

          "And ah want Carol Danvers…Binary."

          "What the Hell???? You can't be serious???"

          In tears, Rogue left the table, leaving Jubilee gaping.

*   *   *   *

          The mansion was abuzz with talk "Carol? Binary? What is she thinking?" The murmurs followed Remy as he walked down the hall to their bedroom. The door was locked, and he could hear muffled sobbing. Sighing, he knocked "Chere? You be letting your roguish fiancé in?"

          The crying stopped and he heard her walk across the room. The door clicked open and she looked wanly up at him "'ello Shugah"

          Grinning Remy stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself "The mansion be t'inkin that the weddin be getting to you…"

          "Ah know they think that…but this is somethin ah need tah do! Ah need tah show her that ah can be someone worthwhile! Ah can!"

          "Hush chere, Gambit no like to hear you say such t'ings bout yourself. Gambit know you worthwhile, why else he want to marry you neh? But if it mean dat much, he find the flamin girl." Sighing he wrapped his arms around Rogue.

*   *   *   *

          Remy was looking for Kitty, the resident computer genius. He found her in the communications room, feeding her dragon while surfing the net. "Petite? Can Gambit ask for a favor?'

          "Sure thing Remy, hang on a sec…whatcha need?"

          "Well, you see, Gambit promised to find the Binary girl for Rogue…and he be needin help. Last Remy heard she was hangin wit the Star Jammers…"

          "You are a bit behind Remy…last I heard she was back on Earth and using the name Warbird with the Avengers…I'll see if I can track her down though. Why do you need to find her?"

          "You haven't heard the mansion petite? She be invited to de weddin, as a bridesmaid." Remy waited, expecting Kitty to burst out laughing…

She didn't. She smiled at Remy and said "That's wonderful! I know Rogue feels that she needs to prove herself to Carol…it wonderful your helping her."

Remy was shocked, and taken a bit by surprise "You know what petite? Gambit t'ink you you be the first one to agree wit us…" Laughing softly, he walked out.

*   *   *   *

Rogue walked into the kitchen, Jubilee was sitting with her head slumped in her hands. "What's wrong now shugah?"

"Logan said he can't stand Monet…I used to agree but she's changed…I want her as a bridesmaid! It'll be like old times! Paige, Monet, Penance, and me, all together…"

"Listen shugah, he can't stop you! They're your friends! If Remy would go to the ends of the earth tah find Carol, then Logan can at least put up with Monet!"

"He's looking for Carol for you?"

Rogue smiled softly "Yeah"

Jubilee sniffed and wiped her face "He must really love you Rogue…"

"Wait till ah tell him Raven's comin tah see the ceremony…"

*   *   *   *

Okay, it's been awhile since I updated, I AM SORRY!!! I truly am, but I was writing my new x-fic "Leorii"! If you want to see what was taking up my time…go read it! Until next update… 


	6. Best Laid Plans Ch 6: Bachlorettes

Disclaimer: Marvel owns the X-men. I do not. Etc etc. Again, no suing.

Best Laid Plans Chapter 6 Bachelorettes 

          Jubilee watched Rogue pace in the small room. There were bolts of fabric and material spread around, and they were getting in the way. "Rogue, please stop! You're giving me a headache! And I'm the one stuck up on this stool while a lady sticks pins in the friggin dress and misses!"

          Rogue stopped guiltily and glanced at Jubilee "I'm sorry shugah…it's just that…well…the weddins in a few days…and ah'm so nervous…"

          "I know, I know! Don't remind me! Let's go over this again…we've got the cake…"

          "Bein delivered Satuhday"

          "And we've got the food…"

          "Remy's cookin up a storm in tha kitchen."

          "Lodging for the guests…"

          "Mainly here in tha mansion…but a few at da hotel."

          "Bridesmaids…"

          Rogue stops her pacing and looks out the window "Yah, Carol'll be here in a few minutes…"

          "She actually agreed to come???"

          "Yeah, and ah'm nervous…"

          "Well no duh! You are the one that took her former life away! Hello! Why did you invite her again???"

          Rogue hugs her arms to herself as she answers "Cause Ah have tah, Ah feel it…"

          "Okay, creepy. Tell me you never touched Irene right?"

          "Nah, never. There she is…Ah'll see yah later Jubilee."

          "Yeah, sure, leave me all alone with the pin lady!!!" She called as Rogue shut the door. 

*   *   *   *

          Rogue flew down to the door and nervously patted her hair. Her hand shook as she went for the doorknob _Control yahself gal! Relax, cool it! Yah the leader of de X-men! Ya'll can handle this…_Taking a deep breath she opened the door. Before her stood Carol Danvers…looking quite nervous to be here. Visibly shaking herself, Rouge opened her mouth "Ah'm glad yah came Carol. Thank you."

          "…yeah. Thank you for inviting me. You really want me to be a bridesmaid?"

          Rogue held the door open and gestured her inside "Yeah. If you want."

          Carol looked at Rogue; the girl who had taken her powers could not be seen in this confident woman before her. Here was a gracious, strong lady that was over coming her past every day of the week. Carol realized that she hadn't been asked here out of spite, but so that Rogue could ask for forgiveness. Carol held back tears and smiled "I would like to."

          Rogue let out the breath she was holding "Yah chose a good day tah come Carol, tanights' the Bachlorette party!"

          Carol grinned.

*   *   *   *

Ororo came floating into the fitting room where Rogue, Carol, and Jubilee were talking. She was wearing one of her old black vests with the last three buttons undone over her stomach and some really tight jeans. On her feet were soft black boots, and her only jewelry was a silver circlet on her arm. Nothing else. She was a shocking sight "Shall we go to the party ladies?" 

Jean followed behind her, wearing something that went beyond shocking to Oh My God. It was a flimsy, see-through tank top above daisy dukes that left _nothing _to the imagination. Jean's only concession to modesty were the band-aids on her chest. Scott would never approve of it. "Yes, let's go girls!" 

Kitty was only a step behind them, and she had dressed rather sensibly in black jeans and a black tank top. Over her shoulder, she carried a small black book bag from which Lockheed poked his head. Both her expression and Lockheed's clearly indicated that her teammates may have "underdressed" for the expected events. But she smiled and gestured to the room "Are you three going like this?"

          "We've got to change!" The three women in the room shouted in unison. Then each fled down the hall. After they had changed they all trooped downstairs and out the door to the waiting vehicles. As they walked by the Living room, there were many cat calls and a few whispered "Oh my gods". It was going to be a great evening.

*   *   *   *

          They pulled into a club in town, and Jean hopped out "Now remember girls! This is only for the first part of the evening! We've got places to go after this!" Then she sauntered in. Grinning, the rest followed her. 

          Inside was a heaven of neon lights and moving bodies. Pounding, thumping music blared from the center stage…then as the song ended and the women found seats, an announcer stepped up. "Welcome, all you lucky ladies tonight! Tonight, we lock the doors on the guys at 7 and bring in …THE MALE FACTOR DANCERS!!!!"

          Jean grinned over at the girls "Shall we order drinks ladies?"

          Grinning they answered.

          "Ya'll knew there was gonna be dancers?"

          "Of course Rogue! It is tradition for the brides to have their vows…tested."

          "Speaking of testing…here they are!" Several buff and scantily clad dancers walked up to all the tables with women sitting at them…several more to the table with the X-women. What followed was three hours of wild dancing in which both Ororo and Jean managed to lose their shirts, Jubilee, Carol, and Rogue managed to find a corner and giggle, and Kit managed to keep Lockheed away from the alcohol.  All in all, it was a wonderful dance session…but the night wasn't over when the bar closed.

*   *   *   *

          The Jeep took them to a deserted beach; it was the last stop of the evening. The breeze was coming in off the waves and there was enough driftwood to keep a fire going all night. Jean sat across from Rogue and Jubilee, the fire between them "And here is the true meaning of a bachelorette party! The chance to be inebriated with your friends and have nothing but girl talk 'till dawn!"

          "Hear hear!" cried Carol "Let's talk girls!"

          Giggling, Rogue and Jubilee echoed Carol. Kit just smiled.

          "Okay, first topic…describe your perfect man! He doesn't have to be real…but let's have fun ladies!"

          Ororo stood "My friends, my idea of a perfect man…is one who likes rainstorms…"

          "Woohoo! Go on!"

          "Beaches…aliens…pina colladas…fighting mutant maniacs…"

          "Oh yeah!"

          "And he has to like strong women!" She seated herself.

          Jean rose "My idea of a perfect man…is one who is strong…honest…relaxed..."

          "Sigh"

          "empathic…independent…calm…collected…fun…

          "Uh oh…this don't sound like Scott…"

          "…short…"

          "STOP…RIGHT…THERE…JEAN!" cried Jubilee as she shot to her feet. "Leave my Wolvy out of this! Yah got that?"

          Jeans pouts "What if I don't want too?"

          Jubilee's hands start to glow "I can make you."

          Jean sits down, pissed. Jubilee glares at her for a moment more then sits as well. Carol sits next to Jean and whispers. Kit stands, Lockheed on her shoulder "Well, to break the ice…"

          "Yeah, do that Kit" Jubilee muttered.

          "My idea of a perfect man…is soft…fun…independent…christain…"

          All the girls at the fire perk their ears up "It definitely sounds like you've go someone in mind…"

          "…an X-man…"

          "KNEW IT! Who?"

          "…furry…"

          "Is Hank Christain?"

          "…sticks to walls…"

          "You like KURT!!!!!!"

          "…yeah, I do." Her face turns red and she sits. Lockheed pats her head.

          "How long Kit?" Jubilee asked.

          "Ever since…Excalibur."

"How come yah ain't told us Shugah? We woulda helped yah out sooner!"

"He always has such…beautiful women around him…what could a little sparrow like me hope?"

Ororo wraps her arms around her "It is alright child. It will work itself out, now is the time to be happy that you love someone, even if from afar. In time, I am sure Kurt may see you…"

"An if'n he doesn't, his sistah will wallop him…Ah promise."

Kit sniffs, and Lockheed hands her a kerchief "Promise?"

Rogue smiles at her "Like mah perfect mahn would say "trust me neh?""

The girls laugh.

*   *   *   *

It was nearing sunrise, and the fire was burning low…Kit was curled up on a towel, asleep. Ororo, Rogue, and Jubilee were all sitting near each other, drinking wine coolers. "My friends, I tell you, you are doing the right thing…Remy and Logan are wonderful men that will treat you well!"

"We know stormy…S'why we're marryin 'em"

"I envy you two, I do…finding your soul mates…"

"Ahhhh…that's so sweet shugah…don't worry…*hic*…ah'm sure y'all find someone soon enough…"

"Hey…where did Carol and Jean go?"

*   *   *   *

The sun rose bright and full, the fire was dead, Kit was up…and the search party was on. Lockheed circled the dunes, and then landed suddenly. "Hey guys! Over here! I think Lockheed found them…oh brother…" The troop climbed over the dunes to stand with Kit…they were speechless…for a moment. "Well, did you two have fun?"

Jean looked up at the women standing around them, and smiled "Oh yes". She uncurled herself from the still sleeping Carol, and stood.  "Did you guys?" 

*   *   *   *

Okay guys, there we go, Ch. 6. Next ch will be the Bachelor Party, I promise!

****


	7. Best Laid Plans Ch 7: Bachelors!

Disclaimer: X-men not mine. X-men Marvel's. Simple.

**Best Laid Plans**

**Chapter Seven: BACHELORS!!!**

          Bobby watched the women walk out the front door…his eyes following their every sashay…until the door closed on their very attractive backsides. Grinning like a maniac, he turned back to the others in the room. "They're gone! Party time!!!!"

          "You better not have been staring at Jubes, Drake" Logan said with a low growl.

          "Would _I do that Logan? Little, innocent me? I know she's taken!"_

          "Then who were you staring at?"

          "Ummm…Kit? Yeah, Kit!! And that Danver's lady."

          "What is this about Kit?" asked Kurt as he walked in, hair still dripping from the shower.

          Logan crossed his arms and leaned back in the easy chair "Drake here was admiring her as she left."

          "She was very pretty" Bobby crossed his fingers behind his back "In fact, she was wearing more clothes than the rest of them put together."

          Kurt smiled "Yes, mein fruend, she tends to do that. Who else is coming tonight?"

          "The Cajun if he drags himself out of the kitchen…Scott if he drags himself from danger room…Hank if can spare the time from his lab…and you elf, you might want to get dressed. It's okay to leave the room…I won't kill Drake."

          "I didn't think you would friend Logan. I shall be back in a moment." Giving a very courtly bow, Kurt retreated.

          "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!!!!" Bobby pantomimed panic as the door closed. Then, grinning, braced to run, he faced Logan "It's not my fault Jubes has a cute butt!!!!"

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt looked in the mirror and grinned. He could hear Logan chasing Bobby around the house. This was going to be a wonderful evening…even if he did have to wear the image inducer. He sighed, he wished he had caught the girls on the way out…he would have liked to have seen them off…

*   *   *   *   *

          The men all converged on the living room almost in the same instant. As Kurt walked out of the hall, Remy opened the kitchen door. Kurt stopped in surprise, and then waited for Remy to let the door swing too. As the door closed, both men saw, coming from the other hall, Bobby, pursued by Logan. Only a swift teleport and Remy's reflexes saved them from being part of the pile when Bobby tripped, and in turn tripped Logan. 

Scott chose that moment to come in through the kitchen, having just been to the hangar. The door slammed both Bobby and Logan as it opened. Logan snarled and pushed back on the door, sending Scott flying back into the depths of the kitchen with a loud crash.  A buzzing silence fell on the whole surprised group, there was a soft "Oh my" as Hank came from downstairs. Then Logan, Bobby, and Scott burst into simultaneous cursing.

After ten minutes, the cursing subsided. People were helped off the floor. Scott was extracted from the various dirty pots he had fallen into, and sent off to shower and change. "At this rate, my friends, we may never get out of here." Hank observed.

*   *   *   *   *

Scott was done cleaning up and back downstairs in fifteen minutes. H passed Bobby on his way up. Bobby was covered head to toe in green goo. "I lost a fight with the amazing gelatin man, don't ask." Scott kept walking and tried to keep a straight face.

*   *   *   *   *

Bobby was clean and down in ten minutes. He passed Hank on his way up. Hank's fur was dripping and sticking out at funny angles. "Hey, Hank, what did I tell you about giving yourself a tongue bath?"

With an air of offended dignity Beast stopped and looked at Bobby "If you must know, I remembered the glasses in the incubator a tad too late. Next time I will not leave an experiment running. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to wash this agent out of my fur or it will never come out."

*   *   *   *   *

Beast, after a good half hour of copiously cleaning his fur, was hoping to finally leave when he passed both Logan and Bobby coming up the stairs, dripping wet.  Logan was in such a fuming mood that Hank decided to wait and ask the folks at the bottom of the stairs. Kurt looked up from where he was curled on the couch "Frere Bobby tossed frere Logan a beer…after shaking it."

          "Ah"

*   *   *   *   *

Finally, all the members of the group were gathered in the living room, at once, and clean. It was going on 11:30.  Bobby, grinning from ear to ear flounced to the door "Are we ready to go?" It took him a moment to realize the rest of the group wasn't following him. "What's wrong guys?"

"Our reservations were for eight."

"So we'll hit a bar!"

"Only one still open on a Wednesday is the one the girls are at."

"Oh. Uh, I guess we have orders to stay away from there right?" Emphatic nodding met his guess. "So what do we do? Make a run for beer and movie rentals?"  The rest of the group glanced at each other and shrugged.

*   *   *   *   *

It was three am…two twenty-four packs of beer and a bottle of wine had disappeared as they watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre. "That…was horrible Bobby. Why did you rent it?"

"It was the only one still there?" 

"You're lying Drake"

"Yep, I am"

"Mein fruends, please, let us just talk then. I am sure our female counterparts are taking this time to giggle and compare ideas for marriage."

"Excellent idea Kurt. How shall we start with this…guy talk?"

"I know!!!"

"Shut up Drake"

"But I do know!!! Let's start with what our dream girl is!!! Sides, we promise not to tell if it's not your…significant other. Hank, you start."

"Me? Alright then. She'd have to be intelligent, preferably a doctor, even a geneticist…she'd have to look good in a lab coat…be about my height…like fur, and the color blue of course….And have grey eyes. Grey eyes are a very…stimulating feature. How about yours Bobby?"

"Hmmm….I'd have to say…short, maybe five three, preferably oriental" A low growl started to issue from Logan's direction "Long, black hair, Sorry Logan, Jube's is to short for my taste…Preferable my age, if not a year older…likes winter sports…painting…and rescuing the world. That's the way to my heart. Your turn Logan."

"Mines easy. Jubes fits the bill. She even puts up with my need to disappear sometimes. Doesn't get any better. Cajun?"

"Same here Logan, Ma Chere is my dream…pale skin, green eyes, red hair, attitude, makes up for my short comings. Scott?"

"No use asking him guys, he's devoted to Jean"

"Actually Bobby…I've been rethinking my commitment to her…"

"WHAT???? That must be the drink talking Scott…You've been together since almost forever…"

"I know…but I don't think she loves me…not anymore. It's like she changed, almost over night. She's condescending…hurtful…spiteful…" Tears start to trickle down Scotts cheeks.

"If that's the case Kid…divorce her. Don't put up with her, find someone who can make you happy. That's something I finally realized about her…after all those years…huh, guess I needed someone to keep me occupied while I waited for Jubilation to grow up…"

"That gives us quite an insight as too your recent behavior Scott, my condolences."

*   *   *   *   *

Five AM rolled around. Scott was passed out on the floor, Hank had gone to check something in the lab, and Bobby had passed out in the kitchen while going to get more beer. Kurt looked over at his two soon-to-be-wed team mates, who had been grinning like maniacs for the past hour. "You two are extremely lucky you know, to find two that complement you so well."

"We know elf, we know. Hey, we never did get to hear who you liked. Fess up!"

"My…love…is not extremely far fetched. But I'm afraid to tell her…I doubt she feels the same. If it's all the same to you gentlemen, I will keep her name to myself and just continue to guard her well being."

"No martyrs here Kurt, tell us. Or we'll guess and when you get agitated we'll know we're right."

Kurt sighed and looked at his clasped hands that were shaking violently. "I've liked her ever since she joined us…but first there was Peter…Colossus, then there was Wisdom…She has never even once looked my way. And I don't have much room to blame her…I have certainly had my share of women…most flaunted in front of her. Pathetic yes?"

"Non, it is often very hard to be truly debonair with those we truly care for. The opportunity is bound to present itself. If a "swamp rat" like me can attract a southern belle, a kind gentleman like yourself can sure catch the intelligent little sparrow."

"Thank you friends.  I will bid you good morning…I have much to think on…and you all have much to sleep off." Kurt disappeared in a puf of smoke.

"You know Cajun…I think Kurt is the only one I won't have a problem with if he dates Kit. He's decent."

"Oui"

*   *   *   *   *

End of Chapter 7…drum roll…etc. Wedding soon I promise. This is turning into a right soap opera it is….


	8. Best Laid Plans Ch 8: Silk and Swords

Disclaimer: I no own de X-men. Believable non?

**Best Laid Plans**

**Silk and Swords**

          Rogue stared at herself in the mirror; she was beautiful. A word she didn't commonly apply to herself. Her wedding dress was complete…not a boring white atrocity but a deep emerald green silk gown, reminiscent of a New Orleans ball gown. It flowed full and heavy from her waist to her ankles in a bright cascade of dripping silk. She couldn't believe it…the gown was done, which meant the wedding was…tomorrow morning!

          She sat down, hard, on the stool behind her and leaned her chin in her hand "Am ah truly ready fah this? Ready fah the happily ever afta and white picket fence? An kids…does Remy want kids…Ah hope so…I need something of him tah hold onto iffin anything happens tah him…" She stood and guiltily smoothed the expansive skirt. She leaned towards the mirror and whispered "Iffin it comes to tha moment and ah can't say yes…what do ah do?"

          The door creaked and a tousled head poked in "Chere? What's wrong chere? Gambit can tell you distressed…what villain peekin in da room? Chere?"

          She jerked her head up and turned, one tear crystalline on her cheek. "Nothins wrong shugah…nothing at all." She put on a dazzling smile "An tha only villain peekin in is you. Yah ain't supposed tah see the bride in her dress before the altar…"

          Remy sobered and looked at her, he knew that something was still bothering her…but she was so breathtaking in her dress…he couldn't press the issue. "Gambit never been one for tradition neh?"

          "Shugah…"

Breathtaking as she was, he knew that tone. It meant leave or get stuff thrown at you. As the only other things in the room were a heavy stool and a mirror…he wisely retreated.

Rogue returned to talking to the mirror "Ah don't deserve him…Ah don't know how he evah forgave me…" She shuddered to remember the dreams she had lived through after the trial in Antarctica…horrid dreams of blood and pain. She knew that her mind had broken; it was just now beginning to heal. In those dreams, Remy had been both the Sadist and the Savior*…which was true? Could she live up to the expectations of either?

*   *   *   *   *

Gambit slid down the wall after he closed the door and sat on the floor. He was reeling. Here he was, a master thief that had held every precious, perfect stone in his bare hands…and he was overwhelmed. "What a t'ief like me done to deserve a Belle? What happen if she wakes up? She jus doin this cause I saved her? What happen if Gambit wake up? Maybe he still freezin in de snow…" He stood and shook his head, his auburn hair fanned around his head beautifully. "Gambit need te think…he know jus de place…"

*   *   *   *   *

Wolverine was whistling as he showered after a danger room session. It sounded an awful lot like a wedding march. Who could blame him? He paused for a moment as he heard the outer door open. He couldn't identify the person's scent over the powerful smell of Irish Spring…cursing, he turned of the water. "Who's there?"

"Just me"

Wolverine growled…just who he didn't want to see. "Go away."

The grinning red head sauntered over until only a shower curtain separated them and mock pouted "I just want to talk Logan."

"We can talk another time I have things to do."

"Just a moment, please?"

Maybe it was the please, but he decided to hear her out. He snagged a towel and stepped out "What you want red?"

"Curious you should phrase it that way…I came to ask you the same question."

"What's your point?"

"Is Jubilee really the girl for you? Sure you wouldn't prefer someone more…mature…more capable?"

"Jubes is more mature than most women I know, Hell…how do I put this…she clicks Jean. She fits in my life like a damn puzzle piece. She makes me happy. That works for me."

"I see, so tomorrow, you will be a happily married man…tamed at last?"

"Happily married? Damn straight! Tamed?" A low growl trickled from his…

"So this'll be my last chance for this…"

"What?!" He couldn't move. Telekinetic bonds stronger than his adamantium held him in place. He felt smooth fingers trail along his cheeks and brow to settle lightly on his shoulders. Then she leaned forward like some awful bird of prey and kissed him. That pissed him off.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it Logan?" She snuggled against his dripping body and sighed "Not bad at all…"

They both heard the door open once more "Wolvie? You get lost? I've been…" Jubilee walked around the last lockers and looked at them. Her mouth worked, but no sound emerged. Tears began to trail down her cheeks and she turned and fled. Jean chuckled and patted his chest "This is for her own good you know…she can't handle you…"

He fought against the bonds about his throat, his vocal chords grated, then finally, he could talk "You better run damn far before I get free of this…"

Jean looked in his eyes and saw nothing but mania…he had gone over the animal edge where her telepathy couldn't reach, or control, him. She ran.

*   *   *   *   *

Kit sat up in bed as Jubilee ran into their shared room and watched as the petite Asian curled up into a very small ball and cried…silently.  Lockheed hovered uncertainly and cheeped inquisitively. Worried, she went to the aide of her young team mate. "Jubilee? Jubes…look at me…please look at me…" It was no use, Jubilation Lee seemed to be in a catatonic state. "Lockheed, watch her, I'm going to get Jean, maybe she can reach her…"

She phased through the floor into the kitchen below, there was only one person there…Kurt. "Kurt, have you seen Jean…something's wrong with Jubilee…"

Kurt was getting over the slight tingle Kitty's presence always elicited, so it took a moment for the words to filter through "What exactly is wrong?"

"She seems to be catatonic…"

A small voice nagged at the back of Kurt's head…seeking Jean made him uncomfortable. "Herr Professor has much more experience…"

"We'll snag which ever we find first…"

"How about your truly seeks the professor while you take her to med lab? I can guarantee we will meet you there soon…"

She looked at him for a moment…he was just so damn cute when he was concerned… "Deal" She smiled her impish smile and phased back through the ceiling.

*   *   *   *   *

The professor leaned back from sending Jubilee into a deep sleep, tears cutting deep tracks down his face. "I cannot tell if she is just hiding or truly gone from her mind…all I can see is the last scene she witnessed…"

"Who did this to her?"

"I can show you both…" Kurt and Kitty nodded, eager to make who ever harmed Jubilee pay. A hazy picture began to form, then resolved itself into an image of Jean and Logan, him dripping, her snuggled far to intimately…

Kitty couldn't bear it any more "He would never do that…It's her. I'm going to kill her. My way will be better than letting Logan get her…" she stared straight at the professor and her next words were chilled steel "Do not try to stop me." She left.

Kurt watched her go then patted the top of Jubilee's head "And I shall check on Herr Logan. The picture seemed to be that of the shower room…I also suggest you do not try to stop Kitty, I may be able to find and speak with her…after I ascertain Logan's condition."

"You do not believe he did this voluntarily?"

"Kit believes in him…try to bring Jubilee back to us, she is to be wed tomorrow."

*   *   *   *   *

Kurt found Logan in the shower room, struggling to move. Growls were issuing from his throat along with a high pitched whine as he fought the invisible bonds that held him. It was a miserable sight, one Kurt was glad that Kitty had been spared. He cautiously stepped towards the feral man, speaking softly. "Herr Logan…Herr Logan, Calm down, try to think. Jubilee is incredibly hurt…" The whining cry increased "She needs you there, to protect her…to help find her…she's run away." 

"Need to find…kill her…"

"Leave that to your family, Kitty is already tracking her, I am soon to join her. Jubilee needs you…"

"Lee…protect…hurt?"

"I can take you to her…" Kurt lightly touched his shoulder and 'ported them both to the med lab. Logan looked around and sniffed the room, then walked straight to Jubilee's bed and curled up in front of her, placing himself between any and all comers, and his love. Kurt went to find Kitty.

*   *   *   *   *

Kit was stalking a red head, who was hastily packing in her room. Rule one of avoiding death by ninja…never leave your door open as you pack. Kit's face was grim, a sword in her hand, but she wasn't feeling murderous…she was feeling righteous. "Jean"

Jean turned with a muffled scream and looked at Kitty "You scared me Katherine!"

"Good. You have destroyed the lives of two people today. How do you feel?"

Jean's eyes went wide "I didn't…He…"

 "Wrong answer"

Jean frowned "Don't tell me you actually intend to make scare me into apologizing? I did it for their own good…"

Kit contemplated her blade for a moment "I was never good at scaring people..."

"Go away Kitty"

"I simply kill them. You see, there are few things worse than the people I have been forced to kill in my life. A viper that pretends to be family is one of them." 

Jean felt the bonds on Logan slip, then break. She had no choice. She lashed out at Kitty's mind, hard.

Kit felt like a ton of bricks had slammed into her brain, blood began to leak from her nose, but she still stood, still held the sword. "So much for family ties... Goodbye Jean." She rushed her.

*   *   *   *   *

Kurt ported in just in time to watch Kitty fly through a wall, head lolling at an odd angle, blood was pouring from her ears and eyes and nose…and yet Kit tried to stand. Kurt understood her in that one moment…do everything for family…die trying. Damned if he was going to let her die…alone.

Jean watched Kit move feebly, and smiled. "Never really liked you anyway Katherine." Then a solid punch hit the back of her neck, followed by another. She turned, and there was Kurt. "My my, the pacifist emerges. Might as well go out with a bang don't you think? You truly wish to die beside her, I will let you…"

"I will not be the one dieing here frauline. I'm not the one about to be skewered. Good bye." Kurt bamfed in front of her eyes, blinding her even as she felt the sharp prick of a blade at the base of her skull. Then there was cool, cold darkness.

Kurt was there to catch Kitty as she finally released the blade and slumped unconscious. Then he was alone in the room with two bleeding women, the day before a wedding. He brought Kitty to the Med Lab…then returned for the body of Jean grey, which was miraculously breathing. Kurt wasn't in the mood to thank God for that.

*   *   *   *   *  

Rogue waved good bye to the mirror, and left the room through the window. "Ah'm o glad we talked shugah…" she called as she flew ot the roof. Remy was there, with several empty beer cans.

"'lo chere"

"Hey swamp rat, you getting drunk before we get married?"

"Getting? Been there, got the shirt chere…on to merrier lands…"

"Why?"

"Chere gonna leave me…"

"No Remy, ah ain't. Ah ain'y nevah gonna leave you."

"Remy says that Gambit says we love you chere."

"You're drunk Remy."

"Yep"

*   *   *   *   *

Kurt hovered anxiously by Kitty's bedside until she opened her eyes, they were stained crimson with blood, but still fully cognizant…still Kitty's eyes. He sighed in relief "Welcome back"

"Hello Elf. I hurt."

"You should…you just took out one Jean Grey…ex-second strongest telepath in the world…"

"Couldn't have done it without you…"

"Yes you could have, you're an adept at solo missions…"

"Don't like solo…" She mumbled into the blanket tucked around her chin. "Jean's actually dead?"

"…no."

"Good, I don't think I could have forgiven myself…but she destroyed Jubilee and Logan more surely than any enemy we ever had…"

"She will live…but she won't truly recover. She will never regain her powers…and will never set foot in this house again. Scott is filing for divorce…"

"Kurt…do you hate me now?"

"Never"

"Oh…good. I'm going to sleep now okay?"

"Sleep Katzchen…I'll be here."

*   *   *   *   *

* Reference to "Blue Eyes and Shadows" The prelude story to this.

Sorry for the late updates folks, but I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. –Steahl- 


	9. Best Laid Plans Ch 9: Dreams of Flame

Disclaimer: I must shamefully admit that the X-men are all mine. Mine in their entirety, I loaned 'em to Stan Lee…*distinctive sound of guns cocking*…umm…okay…not good. Anyone want to read a story?

**Best Laid Plans**

**Dreams of Flame**

          Kitty's eyes blinked open and she sat up with a gasp, Kurt was at her side in a second. "Kitty?"

          "Oh Elf! What did I do? Why did I? I can hear Jean in my head…she needs help…"

          "Oh Katzchen, it was a nightmare. You are safe…Jean is there, asleep…she cannot hurt you…"

          "That's just it Kurt, _she_ didn't…just think for a second. We all reacted in a much more violent way than anyone here has…well except wolvie…and me when I was possessed. We all turned on Jean like ravening dogs…it doesn't make sense…and it certainly doesn't sound like the X-men…And I dreamed. I dreamed of a Phoenix all chained up and drooping while a shadow laughed."

          Kurt cradled Kitty in his lap and stroked her hair making small, comforting noises. Then the door opened. Rogue and Remy walked in "Now hang on shugah, I know Hank keeps those hangover pills here somewhere..." They both seemed shocked to see the med-lab so full. "Shugah, we missed something while we was on the roof…"

          "Oui…find Gambit dem pills an we can here de full story from Kurt…"

*   *   *   *   *

          It was a rather brief telling, with Kit chipping in every time she regained consciousness.

          "Are you telling us that Jean turned against everyone?"

          "Seems that way friend Rogue. Jubilee is still not awake, Wolverine, as you can see has gone feral once more…Kit fought Jean and won, sort of. But Kitty was telling me that she dreamed of a chained Phoenix…and was trying to tell me something else…something like her not being this violent since she was possessed…but as you can see, she did not fare to well in the fighting and has been unable to stay awake…"

          "Brother, shugah, repeat that dream bit"

          "A chained Phoenix while a shadow laughed…"

          Rogue paled and curled her arms about herself "…no. NO! He's dead! We killed him…"

          "Gambit always thought it were a bit too easy neh?" He wrapped his arms around Rogue, offering comfort. "An Jeanie was der for a time…"

          "But we killed him, it was mah head! Ah felt him die!"

          "But he called hisself master of de mind no? What if we felt what he want us to feel? And wit Jean's abilities…he could rile up de whole house for fun."

          "That means…" Rogue turned to face Jean's body "Did we kill jean or just injure them both?"

          Kurt blinked, a little bit lost "Perhaps we should find the professor."

*   *   *   *   *

          Professor Xavier was sitting in his office, with the lights off when Rogue found him. "Proffessah? Ah don't mean tah bother ya…but we need your help…"

          "I'm afraid that the wedding preparations will have to be postponed, Rogue. Please, just…"

          "It's not dah weddin! It's about Jean!"

          "She…is no longer a threat."

          "Yes, she, or rather HE is."

          "Excuse me?"

          "Remember when Remy came back and I was locked up inside mah head…and he helped get me out…well, there was another guy in there. We thought we killed him, we was sure. Wolvy couldn't find a trace of 'em and Jean…well Jean scanned me and said Ah was clean…"

          "Yes, I read the report."

          "Well…Remy an Ah are startin to think maybe he ain't dead…he been in Jean's head. He exists tah cause trouble an hurt people, and what happened tahday was not like the X-men."

          "I see Rogue. But Jean controls the Phoenix force. I doubt an intruder could so completely control her as to make her do these things…"

          "Well, Kit's been wakin up every few minutes, says she's been dreamin about a Phoenix in chains while a shadow laughs…"

          "And?"

          "And now that ah think about it, Scott started havin trouble with Jean a little while after Remy saved me. Please, just come to the med-lab and check. Please." Her emerald eyes started to tear up as her arms started shaking, ever so slightly "Ah got to know…"

*   *   *   *   *

          Professor X and Rogue stepped into a scene of utter chaos. The med-lab was in utter disarray…Kurt was slumped over Kitty, and Remy was valiantly trying to stand. He seemed rather relieved to see them. "Gambit t'ought dat Kitty sliced up de femme's brain…how come she got 'nough juice get up an walk out, smashin us on de way?"

          "Where did she go?"

          "Down de hall, dat way…" He waved his hand a little too enthusiastically and fell once more. 

          Xavier glanced down the hall in the direction he had pointed "Rogue, stay here, and make sure everyone is all right. I'm going to deal with her. If she comes back down that hall without me…kill her."

          Rogue stared in shock at Xavier, then nodded her head "Ya'll be careful proffessah, ah need yah to give me away when we all get patched up."

          "I shall try" He left down the hallway, to the only other door in that direction. The word CEREBRO was printed on the outside.

*   *   *    *    *

          Rogue crouched over Remy and helped him stand once more "You ahlright shugah?"

          "Remy fine, his head just 'bout to split open is all. Must'a been the beer, never woulda tried tah take on Jeanie alone if Remy was sober…but she just sat up like the night of the livin dead and waved her hand…heard Kurt's head hit de wall, and turned to look. He was out cold, and Jeanie, well, she wasn't too happy wit me neh? Mumbled somtin about it bein my fault, an Remy told her dat it was not, and den, well, she used my head for a nuclear testing site…" 

By this point, rogue had settled him into a cot and wrapped a blanket around him "Yah'll be quite now shugah, an rest. Ah gotta check on Kurt…"

He reached his hand out and snagged hers as she turned away "Chere…chere still goin to marry me?"

"Well, Ah think a delay of the ceremony is in order, but of course ah am. I cant have all my bridesmaids in the med-lab…"

He laid back and closed his eyes "Good. Remy love you chere"

"Ah love you to swamp rat" She walked over to Kurt's slumped form and gently picked him up. Gambit had been right, he was out cold. A quick scan revealed nothing broken. Kitty started to whimper the moment she took Kurt away…so, after the scan, she tucked Kurt in next to Kitty "Ah know ya'll gonna try an kill me when ya'll wake up…but for now, you need each other." She took one, last, fond look around the room and went to stand in the hallway.

*   *   *   *   *

Xavier closed the door behind him as he moved towards the only light in the room, a glowing chamber, in which sat Jean Grey. She watched him approach with eyes that had bled from her sparkling green to ice blue. "Hello Xavier, I knew you would come. I've had such fun here…"

"Why?"

"Oh, the usual spiteful bit. Rogue, well, she didn't die…that annoyed me. So what better way to get back at her than by ruining her wedding? But that isn't the true reason…this is Remy's precious family. And Remy, he really pissed me off."

He was within three feet of the cerebro unit…only a few feet to go "How did he do that?"

 "Remy and I could have gotten along so well…but he had to be good. If anyone has read Robin Hood too many times, it is him. So when the chance came to jump into another head…one equipped to create so much mischief…oh, I wouldn't come any closer. Jean suffered quite a severe injury, using the cerebro unit would undoubtedly cause her harm…which will happen if you step any closer."

Xavier stared into those azure eyes and stopped moving. Then he did what he had promised his students he would never do. He forced himself into Jean's mind.

*   *   *   *   *

Her mindscape was stark, and burned…as if a flame had roared across it seared everything. There was a long ravine running  down the center, Kitty's work. He could hear screeching, he turned and there was Jean…or more appropriately, her mind. It couldn't seem to decide whether it was Jean or Phoenix. Either way, she was chained securely in the center of the ravine.

A voice thundered out of the sky "And that Kitty, she had such an adverse reaction to my mind touching hers…so violent. She broke my lovely toy…but I did tell you, Xavier, if you came any closer, I would use Cerebro…I am going to find another host. You could of course stop me…but that would mean that you aren't shielding Jean and she will die. I wonder which you will choose?"

Xavier felt the coursing energies of Cerebro…and he only had one choice. He wrapped himself around Jean's mind and held for dear life. The energy receded after a moment, and they were still "alive" he breathed a mental sigh as the chains binding Jean began to smoke and melt. The phoenix burst free in mighty sweep of flaming wings, and he found himself back in his own body. 

Fire glinted off the metal surfaces of the room, and he watched Jean flood back into her body. She healed before his eyes, flame racing around her. Then her eyes were green, the flame died, and she stared out into the room looking lost "Scott?"

*   *   *   *   *

Xavier's thoughts found a very drunk Scott in his room, staring at divorce papers ~Scott, please report to the Cerebro unit~

In a few moments he did, and was ecstatic to take a sobbing, normal Jean into his arms. He looked over her damp red curls at the professor and mouthed a thank you.

In the hallway, he met Rogue "Is it ahlright proffessah?"

He looked at her and wished with all his heart he could say yes "The…entity got away, I had a choice between saving Jean and stopping him…I'm sorry."

"That ain't no kind of choice professah, and you know it. Yah did right. Now, ah'm going to get some sleep before the sun rises…then ah get tah deal with rescheduling the weddin"

"And I will make sure everyone is fit for it. Especially Logan and Jubilee."

"Ya'll better, this is a two couple weddin. Now get some sleep shugah, then yah can find Jubilee." She walked into med-lab and curled up next to Remy.

Xavier glanced in the room, three couples all blissfully, and some painfully, curled up together. He felt old, but he also felt proud. His X-men were growing up. He went upstairs to bed, and dreamed of a Phoenix flying through a field of stars.

*   *   *   *   *

What? Did you all expect that I had _unjustified_ Jean bashing??? *look of extreme offense* I would never do that, it's all in the story, and it all is working out. So for those of you I may have upset…I am sorry.


	10. Best Laid Plans Ch 10: A Snowball's Chan...

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men…as they were created and copyrighted before I was born…I may inherit them someday though…

Author's Note: Okay, this story, like all stories, is starting to become too big for one comprehensive story line. So, two more are branching off. This story will continue, focusing on Rogue/Gambit and Jubilee/Logan. Kurt/Kitty will be appearing in Chance and Circumstance while Jean/Scott will be in Embers. Thank you for bearing with me on this.

**Best Laid Plans**

**A Snowball's chance**

          Guests are an important part of any wedding. They come to share good fortune and bless the marriage, and generally cause mass mayhem. For a dual wedding, such as this one, there are proportionally more guests invited. Most of those guests were on the front porch, bright and early, waiting for someone to answer the doorbell.

*   *   *   *   *

          Rogue awoke with a nagging feeling that she should be doing something…something important…she lay snuggled next to Remy for a moment and tried to think. She was in med-lab, as was most of the team…she was the only able bodied person currently in control of her senses…and she was supposed to reschedule the wedding! An annoying buzz sounded through the halls… "Oh mah Gawd, the doorbell…" she dislodged a sleeping Cajun and flew down the halls, and up from the lower levels.

          She arrived at the front door in record speed, and opened it to see well over thirty people patiently…and some not so patiently, waiting. The man whose finger was pressed to the doorbell turned and smiled, bowing graciously "Morning mah belle, mah son let such a lovely girl answer the door on her own weddin day?" Jean-Luc looked up at her.

          She licked her lips and withdrew her hand nervously "Ah meant tah call ya'll, but there's been a change in plans."

          "Do not tell me that my son will not be marrying you?" Jean-Luc hand flew to his heart in a gesture of shock.

          "Ah'll still be callin you daddy Jean-Luc, jus not tahday. Everybody got banged up pretty bad last night…ah think ah'm the only one awake…"

          "That is no excuse! Show me to Remy…I'll carry him to de alter…"

          "It won't be for long ah promise…just a week…"

          "Hmm…a week. I can wait that long for de boy tah get patched up. Until then, I'll just stay. We'll all stay."

          Rogue looked out over the sea of faces and saw them nod, from lowest thief to highest super hero; all of them were willing to wait a week. Here. She blinked "Here?"

*   *   *   *   *

          Remy awoke…to a cold bed and a horribly aching head, but that was alright. It wasn't anything he hadn't experienced before. He sat up with a groan and glanced around. Jubilee was as responsive as she had been the day before. Logan still crouched by her bed in feral mode, looking more like a puppy that had been kicked than an intimidating wolverine. Kurt and Kitty, for a bit of morning surprise, were entangled in the other cot, sound asleep. Seeing as how no one was going to remember it, he indulged himself in a few more heart felt groans "Gambit getting too old fer dis…"

          As he stood, he dreamed of a quiet life, with just him, Rogue…a couple of kids. Super powered kids. Super powered hyper kids. "Maybe we wait on de kids neh?" He shuffled about and managed to locate some pain killers without jostling his head too badly. Their effects were miraculous. The pain receded; he could see clearly, he could even find the door out of the med-lab without too much trouble.

          The hall to the elevator was a bit longer than he remembered…but that was alright too. It was all okay. "Cause Rogue an Remy gonna be married and there's no need tah worry" he told himself on the ride up. The mere thought made him smile immensely. So when the doors opened, he was grinning like an idiot, into the hassled face of Rogue as she pushed him back in the elevator along with his father, Jean-Luc. "Morning Chere, morning Pere…"

          "It's afternoon Shugah, and ah suggest ya'll don't say another word till ah get all the arrangements made…"

          "Arrangements?" Remy looked across the little box of space at his pere. Jean-Luc wisely kept his mouth shut.

*    *   *   *   *

          The two men trailed Rogue like silent escorts, right to the danger room control panel. To Rogue's vexation, the small screen read "ROOM IN USE" She opened the door and stepped in without a moments hesitation. That was her first mistake. An icy snowball hit her smack in the face followed by very annoyed sounding Bobby Drake "Ah! Rogue! You messed up my trajectory…I almost had it down pat…"

          Rogue cleared slush from her eyes and looked around. It was a beautiful simulation…of the wedding. Where Rogue had entered was the platform where the actual ceremony would be held. She could see guests arranged nicely around them…hear Kurt saying the final passages…she turned an saw herself and Remy standing next to Logan and Jubilee…all liberally covered in icy slush. "Just what was you doin shugah?"

          Bobby didn't miss the evil gleam in the depths of Rogue's eyes, nor Remy's glare from over her shoulder. "Nothing but practice Rogue…you see…I was just seeing…what places a bad guy with a desire to stop the wedding to stand in and hit you guys. Once I was done researching I was going to assign people to guard those spots during the ceremony…you aren't buying are you?"

          The trio at the door shook their heads.

          Bobby sighed and looked around "Alright then…You'll never take me alive!!!" He started an icy barrage of snowballs at the three and gleefully listened to the sounds of their surprised yelps. Until they moved. Towards him. In moments he was being dog-piled from three sides. They pinned his hands and sat on him. 

          Rogue leaned down to talk in his ear "Now what was that about bein taken alive?"

          His response was a snowball.

*   *   *   *   *

          The rest of the house was handling itself relatively well. Several guests had taken it upon themselves to cook, while most of the rest took over the rec-room. As various X-men woke up and made their stumbling way to the kitchen, they were greeted by several overly cheerful strangers…many with nearly unintelligible accents.

          Even more fun was Xavier's face and head turning red as he tried to eat a "Cajun" breakfast and all the spices that entails. Xavier hastily excused himself from the raucous laughter once he could breathe again. He slowly headed to med-lab to check on Jubilee

*   *   *   *   *

          Jubilee could hear a voice calling her…soothing…but she knew it lied. Lied like everyone else. It would go away soon, they all did eventually. The voice would leave her alone here where it was safe, where no one lied. She couldn't be hurt here…she looked down at herself and saw the gaping, bloody ruin of her chest. She could heal here, slowly, but she would heal. And she would forget. Forgetting seemed important for some reason. She shrugged and walked further into the darkness.

          She could hear the voice grow frantic, almost crying. But she ignored it…letting the darkness seep into her wounds and chill her, numb her. Yes, numb was good.

*   *   *   *   *

          Bobby was trying to speak. It was a little hard with three people sitting on him, but he was trying. "Gmmph grrr grmphta!"

          "Chere, I t'ink he beaten neh?"

          "Ah think we need tah get him outta here so we can use the room for quarters…"

          A voice called out from behind them "We can work wit dis…" Several of Remy's cousins were standing behind them.

          Rogue's eyes widened and she slipped off Bobby "How did ya'll?"

          The entire group looked like Remy when he was trying to be innocent. Remy reached down to help her up "Chere, we all be t'iefs…"

          The group smiled and nodded. She sighed and toed Bobby "Yah can get up now shugah, we need tah reprogram the room." His answer was a snowball.

*   *   *   *   *

          Xavier looked up from calling Jubilee as Bobby was carried in by several people. He seemed to be struggling a great deal, but the eight people carrying him paid him little heed. Bobby spotted Xavier and called out "Help me! Help me!!!!"

          Rogue followed the group in and rummaged around in the med drawers "Ah tried tah be nice Bobby, ah really tried…" She pulled out a small hypospray tube. The group detaining Bobby grinned and stood him up. 

          Remy walked in, wearing all black and a somber expression. "Booby, for crimes against de t'eives guild of Nawlins, and their soon-to-be sister by de name of Rogue, you be sentenced…"

          "Professor help! Their gonna euthanize me!!!"

          Remy continued over Bobby's complaints "…you be sentenced…"

          "You wouldn't do this in front of poor, innocent, catatonic Jubilee would you?"

          "…to relax." 

Rogue pressed the hypo home and instantly Bobby's muscles lost any form of control…he melted into a puddle and tried to frown. "Umm…okay, can't move…"

          The entire group looked down at the supine Bobby and grinned "Good, maybe we can get some work done now."

          Bobby's answer was a snowball. 

*   *   *   *   *

          Jubilee could hear a friend calling…an old friend. Someone who needed her help. He was calling so desperately that she started to remember his name…his face…his tricks. He was always her friend. He never deserted her, and now he needed her. She stepped out of the darkness, but the cold came with her. It was an invasive cold…wet…slushy.

          She sat up with a start and looked around the med-lab, staring past the milling bodies and ignoring the noise until she spotted her target, laying on the floor and drooling. She paffed him lightly and growled "You are so gonna die for that bobster."

          He glanced at her and grinned, or tried to. His face wasn't working right. "Some help here Jubes?"

          She looked around the room and took in the mass chaos…then her glance fell on Logan, who was looking at her with simple hope in his eyes. "It looks like you got it covered snowball" She watched as sanity bled back into Logan's eyes his head sagged wearily. 

His voice was hoarse from growling so long…but he only needed to say one word "Jubilee?"

Everyone froze for a moment and looked towards the only occupied bed left in the room. Then on a mutual accord they all filed out, Rogue dragging a protesting Bobby "Ah! Rogue, how am I ever going to learn if I ain't allowed…"

"They need their privacy Bobby, ah guess it's a good thing that we already drugged ya…"

"Oh yeah that reminds me…catch!"

          "That's it." She towed him to the Cerebro room and tossed him in. "Ya'll can stay there till yah can walk out"

          "Rogue? Oh man…at least turn on the lights…rogue?"

*   *   *   *   *

          Jubilee cradled Wolvy's head in her lap "I was lost Wolvy…I wanted to hide…"

          "I know darlin, I know…thank you…fer coming back…"

          "Bobby brought me back…he needed me…"

          "I need you darlin…always will"

          "But Jean…"

          "Jean got a sword stuck in her head for that, an I didn't do it."

          "You mean it?"

          "Yep. I'm gonna ask this one more time…think on it awhile. Darlin…will you marry me?"

          "You know the answer to that question."

          "…darling?"

          "Yes. Yes you silly barbarian."

          "Good. Love you. I'll even help you kill Bobby."

          "Oooo, that is love."

          "Yep"

*   *   *   *   *

End of Chapter ten! And a reminder, see Chance and Circumstance for Kurt and Kitty. Embers coming soon. Till next time loyal readers!


	11. Best Laid Plans Ch 11: Alone in the Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mercedes in the parking lot, I swear. I mean, truthfully, does it look like I could afford a Mercedes? Plus it wouldn't be red…

Author's Note: I know all of you are ready to kill me due to my lack of updating…but please don't…I wouldn't enjoy death in the least…and I'm posting now see? I'm out of school for the summer, so posting will be semi-regular now…

**Best Laid Plans**

****

**Alone in the Dark**

****

          It was dark…it was silent…and it was cold. The cold part was probably his fault, but it didn't make him any happier as he stared at the ceiling, or the dark patch he assumed was the ceiling, of the Cerebro room and contemplated horrible, freezing doom for everyone. And by everyone, he meant everyone…even Ororo's little plant friends…

          He started to chuckle to himself…and the eerie sound bounced off the walls and returned in interesting echoes. He grinned, laughing louder…until he sounded like some mad scientist alone, in a dark room…who couldn't move…

          "But that will change…" he crooned "Soon…soon all shall beware! For I am Bobby Drake! Bwahahahahahahaha!"

          He blinked, scaring himself with the echoes…"Ummm, yeah, I'm stable now…" he tried to convince himself "I wish Rogue had left the lights on…"

*   *   *   *   *

Rogue grinned…a wild, free grin and chuckled as some Orleanian cousin tossed her in the air. An impromptu dance session had begun in the recreation room when all the thieves' guild had realized that there were several unattached women in the mansion at the moment…and all of them also wanted to wish Rogue luck with their cousin, Remy.

She was twirled and passed among the charming men like a dream…tossed, dipped, even flirted with…she hadn't had this much fun since…since…she couldn't remember. She kept an eye on Storm though…the wind goddess was enjoying herself almost as much as Rogue…and she was single…which screamed to every male in the room…

          The dark skinned beauty was the center if an admiring circle that had at least twenty people in it…about fifteen of them were charming thieves with roguish smiles while the rest were charming heroes with chiseled features…she was glad she had been raised in Africa…according to the laws of her tribe, she could have as many husbands as she wanted…and there were several candidates…

*   *   *   *   *

          Remy dragged his eyes from Rogue once more as his father not-so-gently slapped him on the back of the head. Jean Luc's eyes smoldered as he spoke "Best be listetnin boy, there be great responsibility in a marriage…"

          Remy grimaced and looked at his father "Remy know. Remy got dis same lecture when he married de first time…"

          "I just be tryin to help you uphold the honor of the Lebeu name…"

          "Remy know, Remy not be leavin Rogue…Remy not be cheatin on Rogue…Remy be bringing her breakfast in bed at least once a week…Remy give de girl foot rubs…"

          Jean Luc nodded at each statement "And?"

          He sighed "And Remy feed Rogue first, Remy escort her te all de balls, Remy declare her Queen of de t'ieves guild, Remy cater to her every whim on de honey moon…Remy ask about kids…" He shot to his feet, clenching his fists "Remy gonna kill his cousins if they don't stop that…"

          Jean Luc calmly pulled his son back onto the couch "Remy can kill dem after he finish recitin…"

          Remy sat back down, eyes smoldering as he saw another cousin casually pinch Rogue in a delicate area…then continued in a very tight voice "Remy bring Rogue flowers once a week at least…Merde!" he watched, round eyed Rogue casually threw the pinching cousin threw the window.

          She sauntered over casually and sat down next to Remy, an annoyed expression on her face. Remy gulped and continued, amusing Jean Luc no end "Remy not annoy Rogue, ever. Remy cook, Remy clean, Remy kiss Rogue…a lot…" he started to trail off and cuddle Rogue…Jean Luc sighed and gave up, walking off.

*   *   *   *   *

 "INFINITY MINUS TEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! INFINITY MINUS TEN BOTTLES OF BEER!" Bobby screamed out, the walls echoing back…it was odd, he was starting to annoy himself…he sighed and scratched his nose…scratched his nose?

          He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, smiling like a demented cherub. "I'm freeeeeeee!" he stood up and decided to look for a light switch and start his evil planning…

          He slid his hand along the smooth metal wall, mumbling to himself "First…first is Rogue and Remy…they shall pay! Then…then Jubes, the traitor…then Xavier…those Cajun guys…Hank, for eating the last twinkie…Martha Steward because I can…LIGHT SWITCH!" he flicked the lights on and grinned…until he fell on the floor and shielded his eyes "Owwwwwwwwwwwwch, note to self…kill light bulbs factory next…"

*   *   *   *   *  

          Dinner was being served, once again courtesy of the New Orleans gang…which meant a mouth watering shrimp gumbo served along with black beans, rice and stuffed rolls. For once, in the entire day, silence reigned supreme as everyone ate heartily. Bobby peered in at the large group of people happily eating and smiled…he started to concentrate on people's feet…

          He nearly jumped out of his skin as a large hand descended on his shoulder from behind. As it was, he did jump about three feet and turn around in mid air to see…Logan. And Logan was smiling. Bobby twitched nervously "Oh…hehe, hi Logan…"

          Logan blinked, wondering briefly, if Bobby had been dropped on his head recently…but shrugged it off "Hey ice cube, I just wanted to thank ya for snappin Jubilee outa it. I got you a thank you gift…it ain't much, but I hope it'll due…" he held out a box and left.

          Bobby blinked _he wanted to thank me? He glanced down at the box and his eyes lit up…twinkies! He was in his room, stroking the box before he could even take another breathe, delighted glee on his face as he beheld the golden, glowing sweetness held within…"Mine…." he whispered "All mine…" but first…he had revenge to take.._

          He reverently placed the box on his bed, positioning it just perfectly…the evening sunset striking it and reflecting off the clear, cellophane wrappers in a glorious display of  dazzling light…he sighed, bidding it farewell as he closed the door.

*   *   *   *   *

          Downstairs…it was quiet, too quiet. Rogue paced down the halls towards the Cerebro room with an air of foreboding. Her skin shivered and she crept up silently to the door, listening for anything…there was no sound. No talking, no singing…no breathing…

          She tossed open the door and rushed in, worried…and found no Bobby. The room dripped with icicles, the Cerebro unit was a solid chunk of ice…a breathtaking sculpture grew from the frost coating the floor…a dizzyingly complex model of the Xavier Mansion…right down to the people in the windows…

          She peered into one of the crystalline windows, curious…and saw herself…frozen to the ceiling…she blinked, then hit her comm unit "Bobby's loose ya'll, an he ain't happy…"

*   *   *   *   *

          Bobby prowled the corridors…no one was about…and that was odd. It was almost as if everyone was hiding…he shrugged and returned to his room, he would continue the search after one perfect, golden twinkie to bolster his energy…

          He stepped into his room and froze. The twinkies were gone. The. Twinkies. Were. Gone. He blinked "I locked the door…how?" A single tear rolled down his face as he inspected the rest of his room. Nothing was out of place, nothing else was touched…but the twinkies were gone!

          He sat on his bed, fighting the desire to curl into the fetal position and thought… "Hank…it had to be Hank…he has my twinkies!"

          He jumped up from his bed and raced down to Hank's lab, nearly knocking the door off it's hinges as he entered. "WHERE ARE THEY?????" he roared.

          Hank glanced up from his microscope and looked slightly puzzled in a polite manner "Where are what my friend?"

          Bobby stalked towards the blue, furry mutant with a manic glint in his eye, frost starting to rime the walls in his wake. "Where are my beautiful, dazzling, wholesome, golden, sugary twinkies?" he asked dangerously when he was a mere three inches from Hank McCoy's face.

          Hank adjusted his glasses "I have been in my lab since early this morning Bobby, I have not left. Had I known you had twinkies though…"

          Bobby sat on a stool, deflated "Then who would steal my poor, defenseless cakes?"

          Hank rubbed his chin "Hmmm…I do not know, but in the name of twinkies, I shall help you find the culprit…"

          Bobby started to smile "That will work…"

*   *   *   *   *

          Logan happily sat out in a tree, Jubilee snuggled safely in his arms "Just a week Darlin, and we can be married…you sure about opening a new school?"

          Jubilee sighed happily "Yeah, you know I always wanted to be a teacher, and Xavier's getting too many traces with Cerebro, he can't take them all…"

          Logan growled low in his throat "It'll be odd not coming home to the institute…"

          She giggled "I know, but it'll be a place our own kids can grow up without accidentally getting dragged along on a mission…"

          "Yeah, you got a point Darlin…"

          "I've already bought land in Wisconsin on the Canada border…Xavier and I started building last week…"

          He held her a little away from him to see her face "What?"

          She grinned "I reached my majority Wolvy" she teased "I finally got ahold of my inheritance that's been collecting interest for several years now…"

          Logan laughed "I love ya"

          "I know…"

*   *   *   *   *

          Bobby grinned at Hank across the list of suspects. "This will work right? There's no telling what they've done to the poor things…"

          Hank bared his teeth in a smile "It will work."

*   *   *   *   *

That does in for chapter nine! If you have ideas for the plan the dynamic duo leave it in your reviews…I promise to use the best idea in the next chapter…and I'm giving out a prize fro who guesses the culprit…


	12. Best Laid Plans Ch 12: Puppets

Disclaimer: Ownership is a very touchy subject among copy rightists…for who are we to say if anyone truly owns anything? An idea is shared by many…stories, songs, great sagas are all shared and better spread around, unsure of it's origins…in the case of Marvel characters, I am using their character concepts…a concept is an idea, guidelines…so how can anyone own it? *receives insta-subpoena* Darn…okay, Marvel owns yadda yadda.

Author's note: I did not receive suggestions for what the plan should be…so I created my own. I am still taking suggestions for what Bobby should do at the wedding!

**Best Laid Plans**

****

**Puppets**

****

"Why do ah have to check?"

"Chere be almost ind'structable…an all Remy's cousins hidin in de danger room…"

          Rogue crossed her arms over her chest and glared "It's just Bobby!"

          "Non, tis Bobby, free of restraint an sugarless…he want te kill us all"

          "Then why don't we simply get Jean to scan for…"

          "Non, Jean not listen te us after dat incident…she an Scott happily lost in each o'ter"

          "Ah still don't see why ah have to go…"

          "She has a point Remy…" Ororo's smooth voice cut in "Does not the dashing hero always go out fearlessly seeking adventure?"

          Rogue smirked as Remy gaped, then made up his mind "Remy go wit"

          "Mah hero"

*   *   *   *   *

          A few hours later found Rogue and Remy both plastered to Hank's door listening to the insane chuckling coming from within…puzzlement and slight fear raced across their features, then they shrugged. "Sounds like tha boys are havin fun…"

          "Remy wonder what de be doin…"

          "Why don't ya go in an check swamp rat?"

          Remy looked at Rogue, long and hard, artful tears making the crimson fire of his eyes swim with a heart melting effect "Chere don want t' marry Remy?"

          "A course ah'm marryin you!"

          "Then why Chere ask Remy t' go in der an die?"

          Rogue threw her hands up in the air, exasperated "Fine, we'll go tell everyone that the coast is clear…and post a guard on this door…"

          "Remy like dat idea better"

*   *   *   *   *

          The first guard shift of Storm and Cannonball went fine…

          The next, two cousins, went fine as well…

          The third…

          The fourth…

          Three days passed, with no appearance of either Hank or Bobby. The insane chuckling continued at odd intervals, spooking the guests, but otherwise, the week was slowly dribbling away.

          Two days to the wedding…and they emerged.

          Rogue and Remy snapped to alertness as eth door creaked open and Bobby stuck his head out "Hello Rogue…" a slow evil smile spread across his face and he pointed a large metal rod at her.

          Rogue eyed the contraption and looked at Remy as if to say "What tha hell?" she smiled at the obviously demented man and raised her hands "Hey there shugah…"

          Bobby completely ignored Remy, seeing only the southern belle "My twinkies are missing Rogue…you are going to help me find them…" he pushed a little blue button and the rod hummed, shooting a small beam at Rogue.

          Remy had had enough. With a flick of his wrist his staff was a millimeter from Bobby's eye "Gambit no like hittin the obviously ill, but he make an exception for you…" To his immense annoyance, Bobby ignored him, and soon well known, slim arms wrapped around him from behind and tightening with iron strength.

          Rogue lifted the surprised Cajun off his feet and tossed him down the hall, a small spot on her chest glowing from the beam. Bobby laughed "It worked! Now, Rogue, did you touch my twinkies?"

          "No"

          "Do you know who did?"

          "Yes"

          Bobby danced around in glee for a moment, and then swayed dizzily "Man, how long were we in there?"

          "Three days"

          Down the hall, Remy was standing up, eyes smoking and leaving light trails as he moved "What you done to ma petite?" he growled, staff held loosely in his hand. His trench began to rise and float on heat waves as Gambit's power began to charge dust motes around him.

          Seeing this picture of infernal wrath, Bobby did the only thing he could think of…he hid behind Rogue. Rogue's face was a study of confusion as she watched Remy approach. She tried to fight the odd restraints on her mind and muscles…and failed. Behind her, Bobby chuckled "Rogue…stop him, he's annoying."

          "Gambit show you annoyin…" A few moments later, a large explosion rocked the hallway. 

          Hank opened his door, curious, to see Gambit, now lolling unconscious in Rogue's arms and Bobby…on the far end of the hall, shirt singed and holding the remains of the twinkie detector. "Oh my…"

          He swallowed as Rogue glared at him "Just what was that Hank?"

          "That was the twinkie detector, it was keyed to sense the unique chemical coding of twinkies and sound an alarm…"

          Rogue stood, Remy in her arms and nodded at Bobby "He used it te control me Hank…like a puppet. Ah didn't like it an neither did Remy."

          Hank blinked "It wasn't supposed to do that…" he shuffled over to the smoldering remains of the confection finder and retreated into his lab with it, leaving Bobby in the hall.

*   *   *   *   *

          Logan looked down at Remy, laying on the cot in Medlab. "Seems we've in here more during the wedding planning than any other time huh gumbo?"

          Remy winced and closed his eyes "Not so loud, Remy's head be exploding…"

          Jubilee bounced onto the edge of his bed "I'm like, so sorry Remy! I didn't realize this would happen…I just wanted to wrap it and put the card with it…Wolvy forgot to do that before he gave them to Bobby…"

          "Remy kill you both when he can stand…"

          "Ah, you're just saying that…you wouldn't hurt us before the wedding…"

          "Non, Gambit would. Get you b'fore you breed…"

          Jubilee pouted "Fine, be that way." She picked up a pillow "Too bad, you and Rogue were a cute couple…" 

          Remy cracked an eye open "Petite…put down de pillow…"

          Not only did the valley girl keep advancing, but Logan held Remy's shoulders down "You threatening us still Cajun?"

          "Non!!!!"

          "Good, then we'll see you later okay?" Jubilee put the pillow down and walked out, Logan following behind.

*   *   *   *   *

          Bobby blinked his eyes open and groaned. The last thing he remembered was…was…a bunch of guests on the doorstep…

          He sat up and tried to decipher exactly why his clothing was charred and large black scorch marks covered the hallway. 

          When no clue decided to surface, he made his limping way to his bedroom…swinging open the door, he saw a neat package and a card sitting in the exact center of his bed.

          Curious he opened the card…it showed a black and white ferret bouncing on the front, a large smile on it's face…

          …**I just want to say Thanks!!! Oooo…shiny!!!!******

          The inside showed a cute grey and white bunny…with a switchblade.

          **…Time to die Nerd Boy!**

**          Beneath that was Jubilee's distinctive scrawl…**

          **…Saying thanks Bobster! I would have really sucked to be catatonic through my own wedding! I owe you one! Oh, word of warning…you mess up my wedding with a prank and I'll kill you.**

**          Love and stuff**

**          Jubes.**

          "Okay…that's slightly disturbing…" he dropped the card and ripped open the package, face filling with delight "Twinkies!!!!! And they're all mine!!!!"

*   *   *   *   *   

          Remy found Rogue sitting in the recreation room…alone…curled on the couch and watching a movie. He sat on the back of the couch and slid his fingers into her hair "Remy's cousins all be leavin chere alone?"

          Rogue rolled onto her side and arched her back under his hand like an immense cat "Ah haven't seen your cousins for two days…"

          Remy grinned "Oh, Remy sure they bein polite an givin us some privacy non?"

          "Your cousins? Polite? Ha!"

*   *   *   *   *

          Ororo grinned at the circle of men…it was quite a sight. With simple skill she shuffled the deck of cards she was using, the elegant hands bridging the deck easily and dealing with a sparkling eye.

          The men groaned.

          "Chere have no mercy…"

          "Chere have no shame!"

          "What we going te wear te de weddin?"

          Ororo raked her winnings in and smiled, a single strand of ivory hair falling across her eyes…the cousins all caught their breathe for a moment as her delicate shoulder rose in a shrug "You will wear what you can find I would assume…" with that she rose gracefully to her feet, carrying the basket of clothes with her…and leaving several heart-struck, speechless, naked thieves behind.

          In the hall she listened for a moment as the men she had just left broke out in sobs or screamed, depending on their nature. She slipped the cards back into her pocket. "Still got it"

          She handed the basket to a very startled Jean-Luc and smiled "I told you I could beat your little pups…"

          The eminent, honorable, stoic leader laughed "So you did…so you did. As agreed, here are your winnings" he drew a large silver necklace out of his sleeve, the band meant to fit snug to the neck while several silver chains depended from it in a fan of glittering metal. In the exact center, a lightening bolt was etched. 

          Jean-Luc bowed over her hand, kissing it lightly "T'anks for teachin the pups some humility…Jean_Luc say you keeping de clothes fer anot'er day…" his eyes sparkled with mischief.

          Laughing, Storm clasped the necklace on "It shall keep things peaceful for another day at least…"

*   *   *   *  *

And there's another chapter! Next chapter…the wedding!!!!! I promise!


	13. Best Laid Plans Ch 13: Wedding Belles

Disclaimer: The surgeon general cautions against using this product while pregnant or under the influence of alcohol, oxygen, illegal substances, or massive sugar amounts. 

Author's note: Here it is! The wedding in an extra long chapter!!!

**Best Laid Plans:**

****

**Wedding Belles**

          Rogue sighed and opened her eyes, slapping the alarm clock into oblivion. She groaned, sitting up and scrubbing her hands over her face as the pale, rose tinted tendrils of dawn spread through the window. She was sure that if she could just sleep five more minutes she would remember why she had to be up…

          She pulled the blankets close, curling on top of them like some immense cat…and the door slammed open. 

"Chere, Remy sor…mppphhhhh!" Remy cried as he tumbled through the door he had valiantly protected for two hours. A bevy of brides maids ran over him like an implacable flood and gathered around the bed.

          Rogue blinked at the whole scene for a moment…brain working slower than usual… "Ah ma gawd! Ah'm getting married tahday!"

          Remy, on the floor, groaned "Chere forget? Remy get trampled fer no'tin?" he eyed the beautiful woman sorrowfully…and then his view was blocked by a woman he knew well "When you get here Tante?" he asked confusedly.

          The imposing black woman simply scowled "Chile, ya know ya can't be here now! No seein the bride till de alter!"

          Remy blinked and the girls descended on him. Two women, cousins no doubt, dragged him slowly around the door jam. Rogue had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the utterly shell shocked expression on his face as the last auburn curl was dragged from sight.

          Her desire to laugh soon died though, as the women focused on her. She swallowed nervously "Can ah get some coffee?"

*   *   *   *   *

          Jubilee, on the other hand, had a much more relaxing awakening. Her delicate nostrils fluttered, breathing in the scent of smokey bacon and cheese…and chili…and fries…

          She rolled over and sighed, then awoke to see her favorite meal. Mall fries…smothered in chili and cheese, topped by bacon bits…"Something you never outgrow you know?" she asked the man she knew would be there.

          "I hear ya darlin" came the rumbling reply as Logan drew the curtain, letting light in. 

She sighed happily looking at his burly chest highlighted in the window and started munching. Her careful, cheerful valley girl mask was in place as her mind churned…she knew he was worried about today…heck, she was worried about today…but not for the same reasons. Right on cue Logan turned around.

          "Are you sure about this darlin?"

          Jubilee rolled her eyes and stood up form the bed, stalking over to him in a fit of temper "Listen up Wolvy. This is the last time I'm saying this you know? You're not too old for me, I'm not misled, and I am in love you with okay? Now you are going to get your moping butt over to the men's wing, get a decent shave, comb your hair, get dressed and meet me by the altar at noon or you are going to regret being born alright?" she accentuated each statement with a firm jab from her finger into his chest.

          The picture should have been ludicrous. The slim Asian woman's head barely topped Logan's shoulder as she stood directly in front of him in her smiley face pajamas, and yet the man bent to her will like a sapling in a storm.

          Jubilee sat back down on her bed as her fiancé retreated from the room with an approving sniff and commenced eating her fries. Mere moments later her door swung open once more, admitting Paige, Monet, and Penny, her bridesmaids. 

          All the girls shared identical evil smiles "That's telling him girl"

*   *   *   *   *

          Jean-Luc surveyed the men that had come with him and tapped his foot "An what did dis teach you?"

          A chorus of sullen replies answered him "Don' play poker wit' de femme"

          "Cheat better den de femme"

          "Don' bet de weddin clothes"

          "Dere be easier ways te get de femme's shirt off…"

          "Marry de femme…"

          "De femme a better t'ief den us…"

          Jean-Luc cleared his throat, nodding at most of the answers "All dat as it may be, Tante see you all like dis she gon' skin everyone"

          The cousins shuffled nervously, eyeing each other's bare state "When Tante get here?"

          "Dat don' matter. She here now, so Jean-Luc took de personal risk of getting all de clothes back…wit a condition"

          Every eye in the danger room fastened on the roguish leader with a mingling of hope, desperation, fear, and wariness "What condition?"

          Jean-Luc smiled like a cat that had just been hand fed the canary.

*   *   *   *  *

          Remy paced up and down the long hallway of the men's dormitory. His ivory tuxedo was accented with trim of russet silk. Delicate gloves were repeatedly slapped against his hand as he paced…

          The corridor was being guarded…

          They didn't trust him not to sneak in to see Rogue…

          But there was no telling what tale Tante Matte was filling Rogue's head with…

          He had to see her…to tell her…to warn her…

          With an exasperated sigh he slunk into his own room.

          Anyone watching the crimson eyed man would have recognized the feral smile…the game was on. Fierce odds, fiercer penalties for failure…just the thing to take his mind off the upcoming stress…

          Carefully he peeled out of his tuxedo and slid into comfortable jeans, and nothing else. Barefoot, he padded to the window, slid it open, and snuck onto the roof…

*   *   *   *   *

          Kitty bit her lip until it threatened to bleed as she concentrated. It was bad enough that she still couldn't stand up for long…but having to concentrate to get into a dress…that was embarrassing.

          She had her arm in the sleeve, the rest of the dress trailing through her body…in the mirror she looked like some arcane parody of the jilted bride…

          Carol Danvers took that moment to step into the bridesmaid's changing room and eye her with sympathy. She hated that…people looking at her with that false concern…pity….

          She passed her body through the rest of the dress, faltering momentarily and feeling the oddest sensation of silk scraping along her intestines…with a small whimper she couldn't hide, the dress was on…and floating ethereally along with her as exhaustion took over.

          Kitty Pryde passed out, floating weightlessly in the middle of the room, champagne silk floating gently in the breeze around her.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt fussed with the papers that he was to read…notes…well wishing…congratulations…and couldn't concentrate. The words kept flying out of his head whenever he stopped reading…

          He put the papers down and sighed…he was worried, he had to admit it…kitty shouldn't be up and about yet…and yet she insisted on fulfilling her part in the wedding… "Verdamnt eigensinnig katzchen" he muttered under his breathe. She was going to be the death of him….

          He teleported to the changing room and politely knocked…the flurry of female voices stopped and the door opened. Carol and Storm looked out at him with relief in their eyes "Kurt! Come in…Kitty's passed out…"

          He didn't wait for the door to open, but ported inside…to behold the floating girl…blissfully unconscious in a breathtaking dress like some medieval ghost story…only the fading bruises on her face told another story.

          He gently traced a hand along her floating hair "Ah, katzchen…" he didn't notice the looks that the girls exchanged nor the passing time as he pulled up a chair and started to wait. The wedding could wait…

*   *   *   *   *

          Rogue looked at her reflection and gaped. A delicate southern belle looked back at her…

          Her skin glowed from within the delicate lace gloves…the ivory and champagne color setting of highlights and tints in her that she never knew she possessed…

          Who knew that this woman had ever wrestled juggernaut to a standstill? That this woman had taken on sentinels, aliens, gods…and won? 

          Looking at herself, she didn't believe it…not in the least…she felt…delicate.

          Dimly she heard the bevy of women in her room exit…off to their own preparations…but she didn't care. It had suddenly hit home, hard and fast…she was binding her life to another. He would protect her, cherish her, die for her…and she for him.

          And children. She would bear his children. She cradled her arms about her, tilting her head, curled hair tumbling about her as she thought…and dreamed.

*   *   *   *   *

          Remy perched in the lee of his love's window…listening. Soon enough the women within left, leaving Rogue to her thoughts…

          Now was his chance!!

          He peered into the window…and caught his breathe. His Rogue…his beautiful belle…was staring into space. A slight smile played over her sensuous lips…

          Her emerald eyes were sparkling with some inner light and he sighed…he was seeing dreams in her eyes…the future…

          His knees, clad in faded, ripped jeans, locked him in place. He could go no further than the cool glass of the window…he spread his hand upon the clear barrier and felt his heart start beating again. Such a precious moment this was…such a beautiful sight…and such a private one. He bowed his head in shame and crept away from the window.

          Slinking back to his own room, he pulled himself up short. Tante was there, and she was looking at him with the expression she usually reserved for naughty children she had caught in her cookie jar.

          Remy didn't say a word, just went to her and wrapped his arms around her short, comforting body. He had seen heaven. He couldn't help but cry.

*   *   *   *   *

          Jean glared out the window. Scott was in the bathroom fussing with his hair, and she was out here, angrily eyeing the wedding preparations. Her plans…destroyed so easily…so casually…

          She clenched her fist, wanting to reach out and smash…to rend…to tear…

          But it was too soon to show her hand. Far too soon. She sighed, letting the anger flow away into a deep pool of calm. She gently stretched her consciousness out over the area, taking in the moods…the thoughts…and found a particularly poignant worry…

          "Poor dear Kurt…" she whispered with vicious glee "Lamenting over his little Katzchen…"

          The mood of the blue fur clad man was like a fine wine, pouring into her and making her smile with genuine warmth as she turned from the window. Perhaps she would enjoy today after all…

          She unclenched her fist, not noticing the small half moons that her fingernails had cut into her palm…cuts that soon filled with blood.

*   *   *   *   *

          Jubilee spun before the mirror, the girls around her cooing in delight as the dress settled perfectly. She grinned…perfect.

          Everything was perfect.

          If only her parents could be here…somehow she knew that they would approve. Even if Logan was a little rough around the edges…even if he did smoke…everyone had their faults. She was quite ready to embrace his.

          She turned around, facing the girls she had grown to call sisters. "What are you guys still doing here? You need to dress too!" she waved her hands and the giggling girls fled.

*   *   *   *   *

          Logan breathed in steadily…he was in his room, his tuxedo was on a hangar in the closet…and he was cross legged on the floor with a sword in his lap.

          Meditation to calm the nerves…or so he told himself. In truth, he reached out to one long gone…asking forgiveness and approval. Jubilee was such a precious person, full of energy and life…nothing at all like Mariko…but he loved her just the same.

          He drew the incense laden air in through his nostrils and remembered the first time he had sat here like this. Mariko had agreed to marry him…he had worn a silken kimono…was ready…prepared…and she had changed her mind at the last minute.

          It had taken time…but he had forgiven her…he almost felt her silken, skilled fingers sliding through his hair as he thought…a brief blast of her scent came to him…awash with the smell of cherry blossoms…and he knew that she approved.

          He smiled, bowed his head, and stood, getting ready for the wedding.

*   *   *   *   *

          Bobby perched on the roof and grinned. The New Orleans Thieves Guild was present once more…as help. There were setting up tables…chairs…snacks…tents on the lawn…and they were complaining the entire time.

          It amused him how often they cursed Jean-Luc as a manipulative bastard…and Ororo as a crafty minx…

          He glanced at his watch…half an hour to go…then he could go to his seat...watch the wedding commence…and enact his plan.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt glanced at the clock, worried murmurs floating around him…and then Kitty stirred. She blinked her eyes opened and groaned, looking up into the concerned, fanged face of Kurt Wagner. With a little effort she was upright and panicking "The Wedding!!!"

          "Is in thirty minutes Katzchen"

          "Then what are you doing here?"

          "Making sure you are alright" he explained patiently, searching her face for further evidence of exhaustion.

          She scowled. He was looking for an excuse to keep her out of the wedding…"I'm alright elf…I promise...I'm fine. Go get ready."

          Kurt started towards the door, not wanting to upset her by arguing…he cast one last worried look at her as he closed the door.

          Kitty breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed…and then noticed the slightly accusatory looks she was getting. "What?"

*   *   *   *   *

          Order was soon established, Creole speaking cousins leading everyone to their seats…the grooms waited patiently…Kurt stood upon the dais, facing the crowd…

          A hush fell over the crowd as the ceremony began. Young Artie and Leech paced forward gravely…both bearing a cushion with two rings each. They walked under a holographic image of flowers and cherubs. At the altar they both turned smartly, going to stand beside Logan and Remy.

          Following them was the double row of Bride's maids…all awash in champagne silk…all carrying a single yellow rose…they smiled and parted like a sea of soft, sunlight kissed angels…and down the aisle came three figures.

          Xavier sat in his chair, beaming proudly. The two brides each had a hand upon the back of the chair as they walked. They came forward slowly to the appreciative murmurs of the crowd. Male eyes followed the woman as if they were the long awaited oasis in the desert…one set of eyes followed them even closer.

          Calmly, the professor and surrogate father handed over the brides to the waiting men. The young ring bearers goggled at the woman they knew suddenly transformed into goddesses for this short length of time…and the wedding began.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt raised his hand in benediction "…let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

          Bobby Drake, hearing his cue, stood up. Slowly he approached the altar, standing at the bottom step "I object" he stated calmly. A shocked murmur ran through the crowd and the couples stared at him, eyes smoldering.

          Bobby disregarded the danger he was in and took the first step "I love Rogue, always have. I cannot allow her to wed another. Jubilee is my best friend, and deserves someone her own age. I cannot in good conscious allow this wedding to continue.

          So saying he swept the shocked women into his arms and sped off on an ice slide. As an after thought he froze the entire wedding assemblage's feet to the ground.

          High atop a towering spire of ice he released the enraged women and looked them over. "It's alright now" he said

          Rogue was overcome with rage at this pronouncement "Ahlright? Ahlright? What makes ya think that sugah?" she asked dangerously

          Jubilee was in a similar state of rage…the air near her hands was sparking and heating as she tried very hard not to destroy everything around her "Bobster, you are so gonna die"

          "Blood will ruin your dresses" he pointed out

          The girls didn't seem to care…he backed up one step…two…and slipped. He didn't fall far. He was caught…oddly enough, by Monet St. Croix. The woman looked at her catch dispassionately and tossed him to the ground…into the waiting arms of Logan and Remy.

          Bobby laughed nervously "It was a joke?"

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt cleared his throat, ignoring the battered, bruised, and bound Bobby to the side of the gathering and continued "I know pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the brides"

          The crowd cheered, and the future was begun.


End file.
